Family Law Attorney Discusses Children and Divorce

Children have it hard in a divorce. The children think it's their fault or they are confused as to why their parents are angry and breaking up. Therefore it is important to keep them isolated from the negativity that inevitably surrounds a divorce. Dr. Allan Schwartz outlines five mistakes that parents should avoid when dealing with their divorce:

1. Do not use your child as a messenger between you and your ex spouse.

2. Do not use your children as your therapist.

3. Do not criticize your ex spouse to the children.

4. Avoid the "third degree" when the child returns from a visit with their father or mother.

5. Repair the damage you've already done.

Depending on the age of the children, violating these rules could have damaging results for the children. They can become angry at both parents for using them as pawns in their parents' divorce. Especially if the children are older and in their teens. Younger children may feel confused by their parents' interrogations. Many divorce parents reading these tips may recognize mistakes they've unintentionally made with their own kids. Is it ever too late to undo emotional fall-out from a nasty split? Dr Schwartz says no and advises parents to apologize to them because "saying you're sorry" goes a long way with your kids. Explain in detail exactly what you did wrong, and then commit to changing your behavior from that moment on." No two divorce situations are identical and many divorced people experience frustrated and angry feelings of hurt and betrayal. It is common for people to demonize their former spouse and attempt to propagandize the children into their way of thinking. However, this is a short sighted way of thinking that does not take into consideration the emotional well being of the child and future adult.